I was chatting to a colleague a few weeks ago about an upcoming rendezvous she had planned with a potential donor at a social event. “A friend of a friend is going to introduce us. This lady’s husband just died a few weeks ago. He made a lot of money selling widgets and, since she’s got more money than God, I’m sure she’ll give us some for our [completely unrelated to widgets] project.”
Because every bereaved widow gives away lots of money to people she meets over drinks. Really rich people have so much money they use Louis Vuitton trash bags and remove their eye makeup with dollar bills, right? Wrong.
It’s very tempting to think that because someone has more than you that they don’t care about their finances. The reality is that most philanthropists have worked very hard to earn their money and work even harder at maintaining their level of success. They know that people who give their money away and spend willy nilly (Ed McMahon; Michael Jackson) wind up seriously compromised or even bankrupt.
With that in mind, the next time you prepare a request for a major gift, I think you’ll find it helpful to consider the following:
–Approach wealthy donors only when you can make a genuine connection. Is money (or stuff) the only reason you maintain a relationship with this person? Or is there a genuine exchange? Does or will your partnership provide mutual satisfaction? Are you working toward something meaningful to both of you, given your shared interests, feelings, and values, as noted above? Or are you just hoping to be asked out to their beach house for a weekend?
–A donor’s interests, goals, values, tragedies and budgetary demands guide and inform the investment decisions they make each year. Your request is one of hundreds, perhaps thousands. The only way you can find out what a potential donor values is to pick up the phone and begin an honest conversation.
–What kind of information and/or evidence would you need to give $1000 to a stranger? (You wouldn’t give your money away at all, would you?) What kind of information/evidence can you then prepare for your donors to demonstrate that your art project is investment worthy on their terms? It’s o.k. to ask them upfront what kind of information they use to make a decision.
–Accept rejection with grace and care. Really listen to what the donor is telling you when they say “no.” Is it “no, not ever?” Then stop asking. Is it a “Not right now, but perhaps next year?” Then wait patiently until next year.
–Be open to gifts in-kind. A donor may not choose to support your project, for whatever reason, but offer something else as a compromise. It may be an introduction or a product for a goody bag. Again, respect their decision and accept whatever they offer – perhaps just their friendship – with good grace.
–Beware of “wealthy” time wasters. They are out there. Folks who use perceptions of their “wealth” and “power” to draw attention to themselves and create a circle of “social” support in a community. They suck all of your time and energy and give very little joy (or money) in return. If you run a nonprofit, chances are you’ve already run into someone like this. Remember that principle of mutual exchange and check your relationships against that guideline from time to time. Are you drained each and every time you interact with this person? Do they need you more than you need them?
–And what about the money part? You can check the total assets of donors’ private foundations and their history of giving via mandatory IRS 990 form tax returns made public through the National Center for Charitable Statistics.
Good Luck!
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